Thursday, April 19, 2012

Daily Mealer 4/17/12

Daily Mealer 4/17/12

Editor's Note: Enter Agnus. Happy......peculiar. I am doing what I can to maintain the moral, as positivity promotes picking in past experiences. Once it begins it is a self perpetuating force, a happy Agnus is a full Agnus, and a full Agnus is a happy Agnus, around and around forever. If I can maintain this baseline pleasantry today we may have a well endowed episode.

7:54a I inadvertently spark an office wide debate, which, much like the Occupy debate last week, got out of control very quickly, but this time it was regarding something much more comical. We fought and argued and stewed over whether or not italians call it "sauce", or "gravy". Agnus, having not been initially involved in this argument, and also the only person now involved who is not of Italian descent, took it to a whole 'nother level. She was yelling and ranting, insulting and defending, fuming over this meaningless, initially amusing tiff. Now, it has exploded and enjoyment has been stripped away, like pieces of string cheese, each strand once a shared laugh that is being devoured by her mere presence. We dissipate, leaving her upset and disheartened. What started as an innocent conversation between Stew and I ended up an infectious conflict, dividing the office, surprisingly, Agnus and I on one side, and everyone else on the other; us advocating "gravy", they promoting "sauce". Finally we dispersed, leaving only Agnus, still fighting and standing her ground, exclaiming to Stew, "I'm gonna get my father-in-law on the phone, then we'll see who wants to call it sauce!".

9:30a Walks to fridge, "I'm hungry so I'm eatin' cheeeeeese, cheeeeeeeesee! I say." Walks back to desk with what appears to be a package of Aldi's yellow american cheese. Yum. Dyed and sliced to perfection. 

9:34a "Oh my god this cheese is so friggin' delicious." I say, "What is it?" She replies, mouth full, "Muenster." I stand corrected. 

10:06a Still cheesin'.

10:15a Breezes by my desk to use the bathroom, whisper-yells, "Is it lunch time yet?!" I reply with a giggle, "Almost."

11:24a "Stew Leonard! What the hell are you eating over there? Smell's good. Makin' me hungry."

11:27a To Stacey- "You smell what he's eating? Progresso. Smells good, friggin' makin' me hungry."

11:28a "Stew you're gonna make me friggin' make me make my lunch now. I'm friggin' hungry. Bad enough I ate all my cheese already, for breakfast." Continues to gather various items for her midday feast, slices of bread, mustard, and eventually meat. This meat, probably ham, has really truly had a rough and dismal existance. After being bred and born to barely live solely for slaughter, housed in the most deplorable of conditions, inhumanely executed and ground up to be reformed into a geometric shape prime for the slicing, now rests in the fridge, worst part of it's journey still ahead. Death, once thought to be unfortunate, unfavorable, and unhappy, now looks preferable and sunny when compared to its final journey. 

11:47a Just finished yet another heated debate, however this one was of a serious matter. Now Agnus is fuming mad, red in the face, trembling with fury as she bites her lip. I can guarantee that the friendly, fanciful food excitement is over for the day, as she was verbally trampled, in a very professional manner, by one of the supervisors here and undoubtedly lost her argument. Poo on you, Agnus. That's what happens when you always try to stir up trouble. Sometimes you lose. This is the second time today there has been such an instance, the first I feel as though I was being targeted, she was desperately searching for holes in my work and wrongdoings, to no avail. Keep it up, killer. You're only hurting yourself. I knew off the bat this morning something would spoil this happiness. 

12:31p Still has not eaten or made any advancements towards la cucina. See how much a negative mood dampens the eating habits? She continues to sit there with a puss on her face and tail between legs. For once, mouth closed. Nothing coming in or out. And there was peace. 

12:37p FINALLY up to the kitchen, "Ohh I forgot I had pasta salad! I forgots I gots it!" Back to her desk to polish off the entire oversized tupperware of it. I am thoroughly surprised with the enthusiasm eminating from her, I am sure of a direct correlation between pasta salad and increased mood.

12:55p "I ate my pasta salad, now I'm not hungry for my ham sandwich. It's like, what am I gonna do with my toast?!" I'm sure you'll find your way. I'm not surprised after the vat of pasta salad you don't have room for your sammie.

1:12p "I have no desire for this toast I have made."

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